Have you ever

Sometimes, I amaze myself with my own level of perseverance and persistence.

I thought I was strong enough to handle this, but apparently I was far from that.

Despite knowing that it would be the cause of me taking 2 steps backwards, yet I still persisted in answering your cry for help; for a pillar of support.

Despite you hurting me repeatedly, I welcomed you with open arms the moment I knew you needed me.

And it is precisely because of this knowledge of knowing how it’d prevent me from moving forward and how you’ve hurt me time and again, that make this heart that loves you so precious.

Because I know, and can proclaim with much confidence that this is not a feat that many can accomplish after going though what I’ve been through. It is really just your loss that you didn’t know how to treasure something so rare and precious.

i realised, it is truly time for me to let go. As much as I’d like to think that I am strong enough for this, I am not. I’d have been there to not just double your joy but to halve your woes as well; to walk you out of your darkest valleys. But I cannot be there for you any longer. You made it clear the moment you did that despicable deed. You lost me, lost everything, the moment you forgot for a second that I was the girl you wanted to be with forever; the girl whom you told every one that she was “the one”.

And really, has it ever occurred to you why I am the one you turned to whenever you’re at your lowest? Has it ever occurred to you that I am always the one you want to talk to the most when you’re feeling lost and helpless?Has it ever occurred to you that you’re always looking for opportunities to establish some form of contact with me even after so long?

And lastly, have you ever wondered why I was the one you turned to when evidently there were other(s) you could have turned to?

Travel ramblings

I have been seeing a lot of photos, which were taken in Japan, online recently. They make me wanna fly to Japan so badly againnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

RAWR, I miss Japan so, so much. I miss the food, the culture, the food, the weather, the food, disney land and the food.

I can still remember how I was standing at the sidelines, waving madly to the characters in the parade (yes, i love doing things like that. lol.) with whatever little strength I had left. I think I finished up my last reserve of energy. The next thing I know, darkness engulfed me. whoosh, and I woke up on drip in the hospital next. -.- Who the hell gets hospitalized in a foreign land and after paying approx a 100 bucks for Disneyland?! But whatever, it was still my favourite trip nevertheless. I am actually contemplating a sekret trip to Japan (think 4d3n camp), if my finances would allow it. Sigh, but I highly doubt it’d materialize :c shall make do with my water sports trip.

Anw, I found a super pretty navel ring!! Check it outttt.

Isn’t it pretty! I love it! Think I’m gonna get smth like this when it is time to change my current one ^^

Okay, bed time. I’m exhausted, have been running around so much that I haven’t been getting enough rest. GOODNIGHT EVERYBARDY.

Let us feast!

I have not stopped eating, or should I say gorging, since the eve of chinese new year. It is a miracle that I’m still able to fit into my Qipao, tailor made mind you. At this rate I’m going, my measurements will definitely increase significantly next year : o oh the horrors. OH THE HORRORS. but who cares , I feast nevertheless. :3 Both sher and I have given up on the notion of trying to prevent any weight gain this CNY. teehee.

Since I’m waiting for my hair to dry, I shall update this space.

I just came back from a movie “The Viral Factor”. Not really my kind of movie. :/ Sure, I loved how the plot was filled with just the right amount of twists and turns. The acting was rather okayyyy, Jay chou’s command of the English language improved a whole lot and it’s action-packed! I love action-packed movies! But I tend to squeal a lot in such movies o.o Anyway, what made me not like the movie was the ending. I ABHOR SUCH ENDINGS. I’m not gonna reveal what happened lest I spoil the movie for some of you, but I just don’t like it >:{

Recently, I have discovered a penchant for classic movies. I never thought i’ll ever take a liking for such movies but yeah, I find them really enjoyable. Movies like “Grease”, “Mamma Mia” or “Dirty dancing” are out of the question, they are irrefutably few of my favourites. I’ve recently added “Meet me in St. Louis” to the list! I’m gonna hunt for more of such movies in  future. : D

Tho this would be rather difficult as school work is piling up and ah wells, that includes research papers as well. As per normal, I’m rather excited at the prospect of having to complete another research paper. What is 10 pages when I have already completed a 25 pages research paper? pfft. (as you can see, I’m trying to convince myself here.)  oh never mind, I’m sure I’ll manage. Such is the life of a comms student. Tho I really do not relish the thought of having to draw up the appendix and.. citations. Okay, I really am excited. Just the other day, we came up with the topic “censorship of  social media in China and how it attributes to the prevention of culture dissolution.” I wanna write on such topics too! : D sooooo, I’m really gonna rack my brains for a  mind-blowing topic for my RP. I guess that’s the only way I can stay interested in completing it for the entire semester.

Should I watch an episode of bbt or running man?ho hum. Im starvingggggg. OH! LOLOLOL.

take a look at what my dear friend sent me.

 

I’d marry food  if I could :3

I want to move out so badly. All you know is to accuse and scold. Have you ever thought of trying to understand the situation before throwing such harsh words at me. I’m not gonna try anymore. I’ve tried half my life, but nothing I do will ever be pleasing in your eyes. I’m just so tired. So tired.

I don’t need money, or material goods from you.

I just need you to be a father. That’s all.

Post trip Withdrawal symptoms

I AM HAVING SERIOUS WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS. so much so that I’ve started planning for the next trip a.k.a Water sports trip!

I flounced to school beaming today, alllll because of the conversation last night. hehe.

Anw, here are a few of my fave shots thus far for Ho Chi Minh! : D

 

I’m not done reviewing through the photos! Will do so when I’m back from suppperrrr.

ALRIGHTY! GOODBYE FOLKS. Or i’ll be late for supper :Q  gotta run!!

Faith, renewed

Sacrificing my sleep for this talk was worth it; worth more than a thousand gold bars, a thousand kit kats.

Thank you for restoring my faith in the male species again and for telling me everything unabashedly, which I know isn’t easy for a guy.

Thank you so, so much.
I go to sleep a happy girl, a girl who believes again.

Home sweet home

I’m back!!!

HCMC was awesome. This trip was seriously beyond epic despite the language barrier and the initial discomfort. I had so much fun gallivanting around HCMC and trying out new stuff!

 

 

LOOK! one of the cutest kitty kat ever!!She’s so adorable!! Meowrrrrr. 

Met this cutie during our trip and I fell in love with her the very moment I set eyes on her. She’s such a cute little ball of fluff! If I were to have a kitty kat, i’d  name it … “meowr”. I told pao and dee this and they laughed at it. WHAT’S WRONG WITH “meowr”?! I love the name “meowr”! Imagine this, ” Come here, meowr!” or “it’s time for dinner, meowr!” SO CUTE! I don’t care, meowr it is. That shall be the name for my kitty kat. okay, “fluffy” is another name I’d give my kitty kat. Or duck. “COME HERE, FLUFFY!!!!” * SHOUTS AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS.* heh what an apt name, fluffy. teehee.

This trip was so fun packed and it honestly feels so surreal; it has yet to sunk in that we actually planned and went for this trip. Some of the things we did during this trip were just … unexpected. lol.

ANW now that this trip has come to pass, next up, WHITE WATER RAFTING!!!!: D yessahhhh. totally looking forward. prolly in may or june? ^^ 2012 IS GONNA BE ONE HELL OF A BLAST!!!

I honestly feel so happy and at ease after this trip. I feel as if I’m ready for anything, ready to take on the world. This trip was really good for me : ) and I’m thankful that it happened. I can feel the old carol returning, bit by bit. That and more, a stronger carol. I”m just thankful. Today’s just one of those days when you feel that everything’s gonna be okay no matter what happens; that you’re strong enough to take on anything that may happen.

At peace. that is how I feel right now, and that is perhaps one of the best feelings, ever.

I JUST WANNA SAY, “I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I ACTUALLY MISSED FOSTER THE PEOPLE’S CONCERTTTTTTT T.T!!!!!!”

Woe to carol :’c woe woe woe. sigh I wonder when will they ever be back again. I guess I will just have to get my fill of them on Youtube. Thank god for technology. On a brighter note, I’m gonna watch Wicked. Again! teehee. Sooo, I guess that makes up for it.

Rather tired now plus there’s work tmr so I’ll do a proper post on HCMC some other time.

alrighty goodnight! work tmr, I hope I get more yummy macaroons. slurps.

Long awaited break

Tomorrow’s the day! This trip is not just another trip. It is the trip that I will recharge, forget everything that makes me unhappy and also the trip that will help me in fully embracing the new year with an emptied heart.

I will come back rejuvenated and ready to take on this new sem with gusto and as a happy carol

This sem, I am aiming for a perfect GPA. Sounds like a daunting task, but I am  gonna achieve it. 4.0 out of 4.0. nothing less. ALRIGHT. maybe a 3.9 but that is the least I’d allow myself to go.

Alrighty, time for bed! Brekkie with the darling tmr ^^

 

And froyo was yummy today , wasn’t it We shall have 3 cups in future ! teehee.

The only reason

When you truly love someone, there is no rhyme or reason that can fully explain the extent you’d go for that person.

Everything may be screaming at you to protect yourself, to build those walls up immediately; despite circumstance telling you to run to the safest habour. You’d still do it.
Out of one reason,

Love for that person.

“i’ve got your back”

It amazes me, the extent of how well you know me, inside out.

How you’re able to see beyond the surface and pinpoint every single emotion I’m feeling so accurately.

How you could identify things that I wasn’t even aware of.

How you kept quiet and tried to be there for me in your own silent way.

I am indeed blessed, to have three such very special people.

Thank you, for seeing me as I am.